Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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