I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
