Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
