Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
