I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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