so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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