First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
