I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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