I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My dick has a subreddit
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
