i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
