I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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