I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I enjoy the company of your penis
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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