careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
