she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I yelled at your uterus for you.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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