That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
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