Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
COCAINE IS GR8
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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