I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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