One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize