you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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