the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
