we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
