And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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