Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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