I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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