I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
