1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
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