Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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