Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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