Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I didn't notice because vodka
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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