oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
