last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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