What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
