oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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