omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
