I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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