I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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