He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize
