Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You may now shotgun with the bride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize