We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
