i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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