after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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