I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
