I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
