whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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