took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
