I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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