No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
