i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
