I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
