..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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