bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
