I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
