im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
