When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
