it's too hot outside to masturbate.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
