Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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