yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize