It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
