Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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