i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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