just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
The struggles of a small town man whore
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
